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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Goats don’t like nicotine

Goats don’t like nicotine

I always enjoy “kidding season” here on the farm. Every spring our goats have new babies, and it is so much fun to watch them bounce and frolic. As much fun as baby goats are to snuggle and pet and squeeze, my favorite thing to do is take them out… out on the town. Nobody ever gives a dog or a cat a second glance, but you get the most amusing reactions when it is a goat you are walking down the sidewalk.

Yesterday I took my favorite baby goat, Sky, to the coffee shop with me. As I sat outside on the sidewalk with my coffee and my goat, a group of high school kids exited the convenience store down the street. I watched them open a packet of cigarettes and six pack of energy drinks. I was perplexed to see one young man light his cigarette and place it behind his ear like a pencil. Amused I wondered if somehow the nicotine would simply seep into his brain while scorching his Beiber cut. As I recollect this image, an old slogan comes to mind “smoking isn’t cool”… ok, maybe I just made that slogan up, but it’s true. Nothing turns a girl off like “hey babe, I wear cigarettes as accessories and I’ll not only kill myself with these things, but probably kill you with smoke inhalation just by carrying on this conversation because my breath smells like a burning building.”

Anyway, for the 15 minuets I sat watching these antics, they never once seemed to notice me, but the second I started to leave I hear shouts of “Holy F*ck!” (What does that even mean?) “Is that a goat?”
“Dude, it’s a F*cking GOAT!”
The next thing I know I am surrounded by a group of boys with no knowledge of personal space, personal hygiene or the basics of balanced nutrition and exercise.
“Can I pet your goat?”
“… Yeah sure.” As they extend their hands, the goat (a bottle baby) leans out, searching for a finger to suck.

“AHH!!!!”
“Will it bite me?”
“No… well… probably not.”
Three boys pull their hands back quickly, but the fourth seemed oddly brave (or stupid) He extended his hand to the goat. She sniffed his finger curiously and wrinkled her nose in disgust. Good girl.

So kids,smoking is bad for you. It will make you smell so bad even a goat won’t want to hang out with you.

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