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Saturday, March 21, 2009

A Two Year Olds Logic

My little sister Natylee has a hard road ahead of her. The second youngest of eleven children and too bossy for her own good. To bad for her, she'll only ever have one little sister to boss around. Anyway, today in the car ride home, I listened to her talking to Tamara. The conversation went something like this.

Natylee screeches at her brother, and threatens to kill him.

Tamara. "Natylee, that is not ok!You need to be nice to your brother. Why did you do that?"

Natylee. "Because."

Tamara. "Because... what?"

Natylee. "Because"

Tamara. "No, because is not an answer. Tell me why."

Natylee. "Because why."

You just can't win an argument with a two year old.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A day at the Zoo

I went to the zoo the other day with some of my younger siblings, and it was lots of fun. I've never been when all the animals were out. Even the tigers and wolves and bears "Oh my!". If you haven't been to the zoo in a while, they're really upgrading and have some really cool new exibits, including one on Oklahoma wildlife. We got really up close and personal with the cougar, who oddly enough got place right next to the white tailed deer. Poor guy, he had the cougar on one side and the wolves on the other and on both sighns it read "Natural prey: Whitetailed deer." That's crual and unuasual punishment if you ask me. I also got a big kick out of the aligator pen. They have a sighn which read "No swiming, Aligator Pond" and that just so happened to be were the critters congrigated. So yeah, maybe you think I'm to old for the zoo, but I sure had a blast!

luv u,


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My Novel

Here is an excerpt from my novel, "The Prophecy". I'm just starting to rewrite and revise. Hopefully I'll have it ready for publication by June :) Let me know what you think!

The night was cool. The promise of winter was on the soft autumn breeze as it gently swept over the Land of Eldgar and brushed along the cold stone walls of the ancient stone castle, as it stood alone in the shadow of more glorious days. Once it had been an impenetrable fortress, with the Mynca forest creating a natural barrier on three sides, forcing foolish enemies to attack from the open plains of the North. But now three cloaked intruders dashed undetected to the protection of the shadow incasing the outer wall…
Chapter 1
Shila tossed restlessly on her thin cot, her sleep plagued by dreams.
The smoke began to lift around the village and Shila could see the bodies lying in the street, and the houses which now sat mostly in charred smoldering heaps. Cold black eyes scanned the remains emotionlessly, and slowly, a grin of smug satisfaction crept across Shila’s bronzed features. “This” she thought in her dream. “Is what becomes of those who withstand the Wizards. “ a slight movement caught the odd eyes of Shila’s dream figure and she turned to see a small girl, dirt smudging her tear streaked face. Shila looked into the sad dark eyes and saw her life, all the wickedness of her actions, play across the girls round face. Unable to pull away, Shila found herself overwhelmed by a sense of empty despair. “Is this how you want to be remembered, Shila?”
The soft wind blew through the window and briefly caressed the face of the restless girl, gently brushing her sun kissed face and rustling her dark auburn locks. The slight touch woke Shila from her restless sleep and even as her eyes opened the girl was leaping nimbly out of bed. Crouching near the wall like a cornered animal, Shila’s quick black eyes scanned the dark room, examining every shadow for signs of danger. They were the eyes of a well trained hunter, cold, careful and calculating. Finally, Shila relaxed somewhat and stood to her full five feet six inches. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Shila walked towards her window overlooking the forest.
As she stared out at the turning leaves of the ancient gnarled trees, Shila’s hard black eyes softened. It had been her home once, before she had been brought to live here in the ancient castle Bulwark with the dark Lord Cain. Shila scowled at the thought of her mysterious teacher. It had taken Shila some time to get used to his tall frame and pale skin, but what frightened her most about Cain was his eyes, flat yellow orbs with thin slitted pupils. “Like a snakes.” Shila often thought. The man was a powerful wizard and master swordsman. Under him, Shila had become an exceptional swordsman, and powerful warrior, but she felt no pride or joy towards her accomplishments. Instead, she felt like a prisoner, held against her will and forced to serve the wizards, destroying anyone who dared to defy them.
As Shila stared out the window a vivid memory flashed before her eyes. Two small children ran through the woods, their childish laughter blending with the songs of the birds and the babble of the clear brook to create a sweet harmony. This was a common image to Shila who seemed to think of her childhood more and more.
Another gust of wind blew through the open window, and Shila tilted her chin to catch the cool air on her face. Looking down Shila glimpsed her reflection in the water basin below her. The moonlight shone into the smooth bowl reflecting off the clear still water, revealing Shila’s face to herself. She examined her own small nose and full lips with the little interest. She ran a finger over the white scare on her right eyebrow and touched her long auburn curls with a single finger. Shila’s own black eyes peered back at her from the moonlit reflection.
A reflection in the bowl made Shila turn quickly, and her quite moment was shattered as she turned to face an intruder.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Some Jokes

Here are a few jokes I thought were pretty good. Some of them are kinda old, but still funny to me :) Enjoy!

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"

Two boy scouts went on a nature hike in the hills picking hickory nuts.
Along the way, they filled their small pails and then started to fill their pockets and shirts.
When they could hold no more nuts, they started down the country road until they came across a cemetery. The boys decided that would be a good place to stop and rest and divide out the nuts.
The two boys sat in the shade of a large oak tree and unloaded their pockets and buckets by dumping all of the nuts in a large pile.
In the process, two of them rolled away and rested near the road. The boys then proceeded to divide out the nuts. "One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me."
As they were doing this, another boy was passing by and happened to hear them. He looked into the cemetery, but could not see the boys, because they were obscured by the tree. He hesitated a moment and then ran back to town.
"Father! Father!" he yelled as he entered his house. "The cemetery. Come quick!"
"What's the matter?" his father asked.
"No time to explain," the boy frantically panted. "Follow me!"
The boy and his father ran up the country road and stopped when they reached the cemetery. They stopped at the side of the road and all fell silent for a few moments. Then the father asked his son what was wrong.
"Do you hear that?" he whispered. Both people listened intently and heard the Scouts. "One for me. One for you. One for me. One for you..."
The boy then blurted out, "The devil and the Lord are dividing the souls!"
The father was skeptical but silent -- until a few moments later as the Scouts completed dividing out the nuts and one Scout said to the other, "Now, as soon as we get those two nuts down by the road, we'll have them all."

A Sunday school teacher asked the children in her class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?"
"No!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?"
Again the answer was "No!"
"Well", she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

Monday, March 2, 2009

naming goats

Willie Wonka and the Name Game
a short farm tale

Probably the second most interesting thing about raising goats is getting to name the kids. We try to give each kid a name that goes along with their dam and sires names. We have goats who's names have a theme like Rainbow, Reflection and Glimmer and then we have goats who's names simply start with the same letter like Fonna, Fiona and Fantasy. We were in some debate about what to name our newest kid, a doe out of Klassique and Charlie. Originally, we were going to name her Koca-Kola, but being a big fan of Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, I was quick to point out the name Charlie and the fact that the novel is a classic. Grudgingly, my mom agreed to name the doe Willie Wonka.
On the way to volley ball today, we were discussing names for Willie's future kids. Kaileyn thought it would be great fun to name the kids after chocolates. She liked: Reeses, Hershey and M&M, but I said we'd have to name them after Willie Wonka's famous candies. "Like what?" Kaileyn wanted to know. I started listing off the more famous, "Ice cream that doesn't melt, three course chewing gum and everlasting gobstoppers." My mom must have realized what she'd agreed to because she quickly back peddled on the idea of naming the kid Willie Wonka. So, our newest addition is Koca-Kola. I still like the idea of naming a goat Everlasting Gobstopper, but Mom is hard to convince :

The Media Today

These are some paragraphs I wrote for school. Each week I am supposed to find two interesting stories and write a paragraph about them. This week my selection was especially weak. Enjoy!

This is Pathetic

Typically, all I have to do to find an interesting story is getting on the internet. I scan the headlines and find out what is going on in the world. Today however, the headlines read like this: “Jenifer Aniston opens up about divorce” and “NFL player caught using drugs”. Hello people, this is pathetic! We have a new president making huge changes in the White House. We’re in the middle of a war, and all we can think to write about is how pathetic our celebrities are? Come on America, grow up!

Aniston opens up about divorce

If you read my paragraph above you are probably dying to know, or at least curious, what I have to say on this subject. The truth is I have a lot to say! Jenifer Aniston and Brad Pitt should both grow up! Celebrity marriages are like bubbles in your bath water (I made that up on my own :). They don’t last. Unlike bubbles, we seem shocked when they don’t last. The worst part is we encourage it! Nobody would be interested in an article I might write about the disappearance of my bath bubbles, but everyone wants to know why celebrities can’t stay together. I’ll tell you why! Celebrity marriages and bath bubbles are neither one made of something solid. Bubbles are just soap and water. Celebrities are drugged up time bombs. Personally, I’d rather read about bubbles. Excuses me, my bath is getting cold.

peace out!